


(you and I) have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount

by octoberwithoutyou



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9202292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoberwithoutyou/pseuds/octoberwithoutyou
Summary: A Bodhi-Cassian soulmate AU,  where soulmates are emotionally linked and one can feel it if the other is experiencing strong emotions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is heavily based in belsmomaus's post on tumblr. all credits to them, I just messed around

Bodhi’s mother didn’t talk about soulmates often. At an early age, all he knew was that his father had been hers, and he wasn’t there. What was important, she used to tell him every time he dared ask, was that he also had one of those, and that he had to cherish them deeply. Bodhi used to rolled his eyes at her. Of course he knew he had one of those, he could _feel_ them. It wasn’t as strong as the feeling other kids claimed they felt, but it was enough for him.

Cassian’s parents didn’t talk about soulmates, at all. But that wasn’t important. He just had to watch them together. Even as busy as they always were, they seemed always in synch, never apart for long. He learned about soulmates on his own, and he suspected that’s what his parents wanted him to do. When he first felt a burst of happiness that was out of place as he helped them cleaning some weapons, his mother gave him a knowing smile. That day, he hoped his own happiness was as strong as his soulmate’s, so he could feel it too.

 

Bodhi was six Standard years. He had returned from playing with some kids early. He didn’t feel good. When his mother asked him what was wrong, he just shook his head and went to bed. He didn’t know. He was afraid for his soulmate, his own fear mixing with theirs. He laid on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, trying to calm himself as he played with a small plane toy his mother had given him for his birthday.

An hour later, he stood up suddenly, clutching his chest. He couldn’t breathe. In that moment, he thought he was going to die. There was too much pain, too much desperation inside of him. When he reached his mother’s room, he thought he was going to pass out.

He didn’t. He just felt so hopeless, as he cried into his mother’s chest. He only calmed down when he realised that maybe his soulmate was feeling that hopelessness, along with their own pain. That night, he stayed up, forcing himself to feel calm, so the other could feel it too.

Across the galaxy, on Carida, a protest against the expansion of Republic militarism ended up badly. A few people were killed. Cassian’s parents were amongst the official list of the deceased. Cassian managed to escape.

 

Cassian joined the Alliance after his parents die. The days were a blur after that. He had (most of the times) a place to sleep, food on his plate, and something to do. He devoted himself to the cause. Soon he earned the rank of Captain in the Intelligence branch

It was fine, but he was still a kid. Sometimes he forgot about it, and was reminded when he felt waves of joy from his soulmate. It was bittersweet, and both his favorite and most dreaded part of the day. He was glad his soulmate was doing fine, but their emotions were vivid than his own. He still didn’t fully comprehend what that meant. That’s just the way he felt after that night in Carida. And it was better that way. Feelings were a liability.

 

Bodhi never complained during his childhood, and he wasn’t going to complain during his adolescence. He was happy, and those he loved were happy. There were people that had it worse, and Bodhi was always the optimistic type.

He started wondering if his soulmate had died. Usually, those thoughts didn’t last long. He didn’t like thinking about it. But ever since that night, he didn’t f  
anything through their bond. So even if he forbid himself from thinking, there was still that emptiness that only grew bigger. He was fully convinced he would be alone in the world. They told him that to protect his mother, he had to join the Empire. As soon as he could, he enlisted.

 

As a teenager, Cassian was assigned more complex missions, becoming one of the best Alliance spies. He has already seen too much. He gets better at separating himself from the shame and disgust he feels at certain things he’d done. He’s not happy, but it doesn’t matter.

He started noticing that those waves of joy he used to feel are less and less, until they become almost null. Instead, he felt anger. He felt hatred. He felt frustration and despair, so strong and overwhelming that others might cry feeling it. Cassian didn’t cry, he didn’t allow himself to. It was only a matter of time, he told himself, until his soulmate realised how unfair the universe was. 

On one of those days, the Empire destroyed Bodhi’s home, taking everything they could. He could only watch as they did so. He would never know if his mother got out alive.

 

Bodhi became a cargo pilot. As he rested a few minutes inside his ship, Bodhi felt a ticklish sensation on his right leg, accompanied by a pain he would relate with a physical injury. He stared at his leg, fear starting to close up his throat, blinking back tears. They were alive. His soulmate was alive.

But now he didn’t feel happy. He wasn’t glad to know the other was there, because they were hurting, and Bodhi had seen enough of the world to know they will continue hurting. It wasn’t safe out there. He felt pain other times, and each time he couldn’t sleep, worried about them.

 

The first time Bodhi felt pain, wasn’t the first time Cassian had gotten hurt. It was just the first time he had truly believed that injury was going to kill him, and one of the first times the pain was so great he just couldn’t think of something else. If it weren’t for the droid he had reprogrammed earlier, he would have given up. As K-2SO carried him back to the ship, he thought that maybe, they could be a good team.

 

They were flying to Jedha. Cassian wasn’t entirely happy about it (Jyn Erso being one of the main reasons), but something told him what they were doing was more than just another mission. 

He started shaking. K2 noticed that fairly quickly. His eyes were filled with panic. When the droid turned to Cassian, he just shook his head. He pointed at the ship’s controls, silently asking him to take control of it.

He wasn’t sure where the pain stopped being emotional and began being physical, but it was everywhere. His breathing started quickening, and he wasn’t sure he had felt a fear so great in his life. Burying his face on his hands, he wished for it to stop. And it did.

“No.” Instead of everything being too much, there was nothing. That emptiness hit him with such force it left him breathless. They were dead, weren’t they? His soulmate was surely dead. He was almost glad they were, so they wouldn’t feel his grief.

He knew Jyn and K2 were glancing at him with worry, but he just shook just head, still a jittery, and continued piloting in silence. As he was used to, he pushed his feelings away. It was incredibly harder than usual, but he had to. He had a mission.

 

Cassian had never thought he would meet his soulmate. And thinking back on what he had felt on his way to Jedha, he was sure he never would. 

But he would have to admit, meeting his soulmate on prison during a time sensitive mission was only probable, knowing his type of life.

 

Bodhi had lost many things over the years. He had tried to lose his optimism, too, but he couldn’t, and most of the times that was the reason he got in so many problems. But now, as he sat on a dirty cell, his mind a mess, there was only one thing that kept him from losing his sanity. He had a weird feeling, and although maybe he could blame it on his deteriorated mental health, he wanted to hold onto that feeling. The feeling that someone was coming for him.


End file.
